Having trouble knowing where to start?
Click the link below to develop your own interactive safety plan through TheHotline, or check out our safety planning checklist here.
SAFTEY PLANNING FAQs
Please Note: SYTT does not give legal advice, nor are we legal advocates. The Hotline may be able to help you locate a legal advocate. Please call 1-800-799-SAFE (7233). Additionally, WomensLaw.org provides helpful information on state laws.
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If you are leaving due to domestic violence (or your partner is being forced to leave because they were abusing you), there are many states that offer housing laws and protection for victims. “For example, a victim may be able to break a lease without financial penalty or the law may demand that a landlord change the victim’s locks to keep an abuser out.” - WomensLaw.org.
You can learn more about housing laws by state by clicking here. If you need to find immediate temporary housing, please follow the link below to search for shelters in your local area.
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If you have ever feared for your safety, we highly recommend filing for a restraining or emergency protection order. If granted, the restrained person can be reported to the police (and arrested in some cases) if they break the order. Children can be included on these orders if there is a clear threat of harm.
Here is an article by WomensLaw that outlines domestic violence restraining order basics.
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Filing for divorce can be a big first step towards gaining independence and freedom from abuse. Depending on your location, there will be different requirements for filing. The majority of the time, you must meet residency requirements, have grounds for divorce, and file/serve your spouse. Once filed, the process of the divorce greatly depends on whether your spouse agrees to the divorce or not (if yWomen’s Law articleou file first. If they file first, you will either need to agree or contest.)
Here is an article from WomensLaw that outlines the divorce process and how it works.
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Many struggle with the reality that asking for money from their abusive ex-partner can cause stress, prolong custody disagreements, anger their ex-partner, etc. If you are the primary custodial parent of your children, you deserve to receive child support. The amount you might receive will depend upon the number of children, income of both you and the other parent, the children’s expenses, etc.
Here is an article from WomensLaw that can help you understand the steps and common obstacles of obtaining child support.
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Creating a safety plan for yourself, children, and/or pets is highly encouraged to be your first step when figuring out how to leave an abusive relationship or seek safety. Additionally, learning self-defense can be a great way to empower yourself and strengthen your sense of confidence. Gracie University has a variety of Jiu-Jitsu self-defense classes, including a Women Empowered program. Find a location near you here.
Learn the first steps for creating a safety plan for defense of yourself, your children, and/or your pet with this resource by The Hotline here.
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You may be requested or want to create a parenting plan to clearly outline how you want to share custody with the other parent once separated. There are several things you will want to address when creating a parenting plan that you won’t want to miss. Follow the link below to access a free template and more info about creating a shared parenting plan.
Woman’s Divorce has great resources for creating a shared parenting plan.
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Depending on your state requirements, certain evidence of the abuse will need to be gathered for your hearing / divorce. VictimsVoice is a great tool that can help victims gather permissible evidence for court within the U.S. Email us at help@sytt.org or connect with a local shelter to be provided a VictimsVoice user ID card, which will need to be activated to begin documenting.
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Navigating finances while leaving an abusive relationship can be extremely difficult. Bankrate has a great article that speaks more about this topic and offers different ways you can become financially independent.