Jo’s Story
Freedom Date: April, 2021
HOW DID YOU FIRST MEET YOUR ABUSIVE EX-PARTNER? WHAT ATTRACTED YOU IN THE BEGINNING?
I met my partner when I was in High School. I was attracted to him as he was older and seemed sweet and kind.
WHEN DID THE ABUSE BEGIN AND WHAT KIND OF ABUSE DID YOU EXPERIENCE? HOW DID IT DEVELOP OVER TIME?
The abuse initially started at around 6 months. It started off as just verbal abuse but quickly escalated into physical and sexual abuse. The physical abuse would happen when ever they were upset and the sexual abuse was when ever I would say no.
WHAT WAS THE TIPPING POINT FOR YOU? WHEN DID YOU DECIDE THAT YOU NEEDED TO BREAK OFF THE RELATIONSHIP?
Over the years I attempted to end things and would end up going back shortly after. The tipping point was consistently being beat down, physically and emotionally, and finally having the ability to move to a new area away from my partner.
HOW WAS THE PROCESS OF LEAVING THE ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP FOR YOU? WAS THERE ANYTHING DIFFICULT OR CONFUSING ABOUT THE PROCESS?
It took a long time mostly because I had nowhere to go and nowhere to get away. I had to move away from everything and everyone to be able to get out of the cycle. It was logistically a challenge.
HOW DID YOUR FRIENDS, FAMILY, AND COMMUNITY RESPOND TO YOU LEAVING THE RELATIONSHIP? WAS THERE ANYTHING PARTICULARLY HELPFUL - OR DIFFICULT - IN THESE RESPONSES?
Most people did not know much about my relationship. He was careful to not leave marks that couldn’t be covered. The ones who knew encouraged me to leave and were very supportive of the choices I made to protect myself.
HOW HAS YOUR JOURNEY TOWARDS HEALING DEVELOPED? WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO TELL FELLOW SURVIVORS?
My journey has developed by me being able to be more open with those in my life and even being willing to share my story more openly. My advice is to let people in to the best of your ability. Take it as slow as you need to. Let yourself trust again and accept help around you. Build your support system.
WHAT, IF ANYTHING, WOULD YOU LIKE TO TELL ADVOCATES ABOUT HELPING VICTIMS OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE?
Listen and don’t judge. Don’t push them further then they are ready to go and let them open up at their own pace.
HOW HAS SPEAK YOUR TRUTH TODAY AFFECTED YOUR JOURNEY OUT OF ABUSE AND TOWARDS HEALING?
It has helped me be able to speak to other survivors and share pieces of my story.
ARE THERE ANY RESOURCES THAT WERE PARTICULARLY HELPFUL THROUGHOUT THE PROCESS?
One of the biggest supports I experienced was the Cleveland Rape Crisis Center in Ohio
IN YOUR OPINION, WHAT IS THE MOST IMPORTANT THING FOR A SURVIVOR TO HEAR?
You will heal. The journey will be challenging, at times exhausting, and extremely painful. It will be worth it though. Completely worth it.
